Get your gowk hunting gear ready and make sure you've harvested the remaining spaghetti from your spaghetti tree, because after we visit the Taco Liberty Bell, we're going to Burger King for a left-handed Whopper.
It's April 1st. All Fools' Day, it's oddly appropriate that the first Speaker of the House was elected on this day in 1789. We NASCAR fans also lost Alan Kulwicki on this day in 1993.
So, it is in this spirit that I announce that Congress and the President have reached an agreement to balance the budget for 2011. Also, the New Black Pathers, Code Pink, Think Progress and the Democrat Party have announced that they were only kidding and will immediately cease all operations, as will George Soros, who announced his intention to retire to Crete, which he purchased yesterday.
All seriousness aside, it's time to tid.
Willie Nelson can sing his way out of jail time, you, however, can not.
Wow, you look like you've been dragged through a knothole.
"I'm terribly sorry, I can't seem to find your name on the guest list, Mr. Rqz3dsmv#pd. Please accept these Royal Pez Dispensers and our sincere apologies."
Condoms heists explained: the purps apparently couldn't get a prescription for them, so they just stole 'em. Not content with that, they're busy expanding their criminal empire to include rubber ducks.
You may have seen these two little fellows on that Interweb thingy...
Here's a quiz. They are:
1. Discussing dinner plans.
2. Deliberately talking louder than the muffled barks coming from the freezer.
3. Planning their climb of Mount Frigidaire.
4. Making more sense than any Progressive Democrat ever could.
The winner will recieve a free, one-year subscription to this blog.