Congress Leaps Into Action on Gulf Oil Spill with... a Tax Hike on Oil

Ladies and Gentlemen, you are witnessing hisory. There's really no other way to describe the swift action taken by the Obama administration as the worst environmental disaster in a generation unfolds. While oil gushes from the seabed beneath the Gulf of Mexico and is reaching the coastal estuaries and fisheries that are the lifeblood of the region, our brave and intrepid President responds by... wait for it... holding a political fundraiser in California for radical leftist Babs Boxer. (I'd link it, but it kept crashing IE).

While seemingly everyone within driving distance of the Gulf coast is there helping the cleanup efforts, this administration is busy putting it's boot on the throat of British Petroleum, holding them accountable and basically, well, holding them, um, accountable. It's very likey that unless this situation is brought under control quickly, BP won't be in business in two years.

But that's not going to stop Obama and his rapid response team of lawyers.

As if it weren't doing everything in its' power to stop the flow of oil into the Gulf, Congress is poised to unleash its most potent weapon in this disaster: a tax hike. That's right, those nasty oil droplets will shudder in fear when lawmakers gather to quadruple the tax on a barrel of crude. The widely recognized Expert on Everything, Harry Reid, said that "Taxpayers will not pick up the tab." Of course, we all know that no tax levied on a private company is ever passed along to consumers, don't we, Harry?

There are some secondary players who say they need "real help" down there in Cajun Country. Somebody named Bobby Jindal has been making a little noise about the slow reaction to the spill. He "says" he needs some kind of environmental approval for something he wants to do, like building some sort of berm for the oil to land on first instead of marshland, but, because he's just a governor, he should know he doesn't hold a candle to the awesome awesomeness of the glorious Federal Government when it comes to halting the flow of Mother Natures' forces.

However, there are some ne'er-do-wells who just don't see the awesomeness that is Obama. Like ABC, CBS, and NBC. But what do they know? How can you expect media companies who won't even do the most rudimentary investigation of a presidential candidate to be credible sources of information?

The American People know just how hard it is to be President and they all approve of the things this administration is doing to stop this spill and clean up the mess, don't they?