What The Obama Administration Says (with translation below).
I truly hope that all you consumers of information are processing this in a forward-looking way. We are witnessing a new paradigm of informationality wherein the former constructs of pre- and post- content formalizations are becoming the new front in the effort by the purveyors of information distributors to establish, and thereby render useless, former preconceived notions about the delivery of fresh information to the consumer. (1)
In an unprecedented way, our country has entered into a conflagration with wide-ranging implications to the world at large. We are currently undertaking a project that involves many forms of action against a foreign regime not with the ultimate goal of change, but with the insistence upon a neutralization of the ability of the hierarchal power structure to interact with the residents of said foreign regime primarily by the use of kinetic military action, particularly on the front end. Such a projection of resources is perceived to be of a multilateral nature, as the United States has committed itself to providing unique capabilities to its other partners in this project. (2)
While recognizing the inherent difficulties in preparing a suitable response to the actions, we nevertheless have been proactive in our determination to provide traditional information sources the necessary data for distribution to their respective outlets. In an effort to be as forthcoming as possible with these various organizations, we have compiled a list of suitable terms that this administration considers appropriate for use, particularly when discussing the area of kinetic military action. Such terms as “Multilateral Limited-Theater Kineticized Response Protocol” and “Full-Spectrum Combined-Arms Enhanced Humanitarian Relief Effort” will serve to heighten public awareness of the issues and make for a deeper informational experience for the end user. (3)
Rest assured that we have given the interpretation of the events unfolding in North Africa the utmost priority. While conflagrations of this type are sometimes common, the historical ramifications are not always clear. We will always seek to countermand the perception that this action was unilateral by stressing the cooperation we have received from our various European counterparts while underplaying the unpopular notion that this is an action whereby we seek to remove or exploit any natural resources of the country due to its apparent proximity to Northern Africa. (4)
Additionally, we recognize the need to put these events into historical perspective for the benefit of the end consumers of information and thereby eliminate any confusion as to the intentions and ramifications of the actions currently under way. We will emphasize the actions taken by previous presidents as the cornerstone of our information campaign to more fully provide the end user with points of reference as to the intentions of this administration and the implications of its actions in regard to the ongoing conflict. It is our intention to magnify the actions of previous administrations actions as not being in the clearest interests of the nation, whereas we will show our current kinetic action to be one of global importance, not only in a strictly humanitarian sense, but also in the greater worldwide interest of achieving social justice for all peoples. While polls have recently been published that may show more public support for previous interventions by past administrations, we will seek to show that those statistics are misleading when compared against the greater support that our strategic allies have with this current administration and its efforts to garner the multilateral support that was previously absent from those prior administrations. Should any deviations subsist between the public perception of the effectiveness and public support of past administrations as they entered into what was clearly an imperialistic crusade, we are certain that you will emphasize the actions of the Obama administration at all times. (5)
We’re certain that those in the informational matrix will support and defend the points that we have outlined, particularly in deference to all known previous patterns of knowledge gathering and documentation whenever they conflict with the stated goals of this administration. (6)
1. This is news.
2. We’re at war with Libya.
3. We’re not quite sure what to call it. “War” sounds all icky and stuff.
4. It’s not about oil. Really, it’s not.
5. Bush war bad – Obama war good.
6. Thank you for helping us pile this steaming heap even higher.