Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Happy Birthday, Barry. We got you a little something...'s not much. And it's from only one state.

We understand that you and Michelle and the kids are really used to the trappings of power by now. We see all the big, fancy parties you have every month. We see that your dog Bo gets his own plane rides. You've been to a lot of places and met a lot of people. And most of those people whom you've met you've also bowed to. You seem like such a nice fellow.

We really hope you're not too disappointed with our gift. It's just a smackdown. Really, that's all we could afford.

Hope you like it.

After all, you've given us so much in your short time in office. A really bad economy, a Vice-President who doesn't seem to know where he is much of the time, a radical leftist Supreme Court justice who calls herself a "wise Latina", another SCOTUS nominee who doesn't understand the Constitution, an openly communist "green czar", a guy in charge of taxes that didn't pay his taxes, a communications director who just loves her some Mao, an Attorney General who thinks it's just fine for two Black Panthers to shake their nightsticks at voters and who also thinks that one of our biggest enemies in the War on Terror deserves the same rights as a citizen.

Maybe these were just oversights on your part. After all, being President takes a lot of your time. We know. It's also really stressful. So we really don't blame you for going golfing as much as you do. We need you to be ready and rested, especially should something really bad happen, like, say, a massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. You'll need your energy so you can hold your boot on an oil company's neck. It's a tough job, but you can do it.

Oh, and before I forget, you and your buddies in Congress have been really busy, too. You guys have been passing one really big bill after another one. There was TARP, then the takeovers of General Motors and Chrysler where a whole bunch of local dealerships got closed for no reason, then Cash for Clunkers that destroyed perfectly good cars so no one else could use them. Then you passed the Stimulus Bill that you said would hold down the unemployment rate to less that 8%. Um, that one didn't work out too well, did it, Barry. Last time we checked, the unemployment rate was almost 10% and businesses aren't hiring. Lots of my friends have lost their jobs and some have lost their houses. Oh well, you can't win them all.

About your buds in Congress, that last big bill, the Health Care Bill, remember, the one that we didn't want you guys to pass because it was really expensive and created a whole new big government program that really didn't solve the problem of Americans who didn't have health care? That one? Well, yeah, this present has something to do with that. Actually, it has a lot to do with that. In fact. this little present is kinda like a little note. We just had to tell you what we think about passing a great big bill when we asked you not to.

It's called Proposition C. One of the 57 states voted on it yesterday. Maybe you were out on the golf course and haven't heard about it yet. But a lot of people in a state called Missouri voted for it, about three-quarters of them. And what they said was "no." Really, Barry, we really don't like you guys up in Washington deciding something as important as our relationship with our doctors, and this vote was sent as a message.

See, we like things pretty much as they are. We realize that our health care system needs a little bit of tweaking to make it run a bit better. In fact, we had some ideas of our own for improving it, like getting rid of frivolous lawsuits and opening up competition between states, kinda like we have for car insurance. We would have preferred it if you had listened to us and let the free market work like it's supposed to. But, since you're a lawyer, we pretty much expected you to take care of your other lawyer friends, after all, so many of your friends are lawyers and we know you want people to like you, even if they are lawyers.

But you went ahead and passed this great big bill anyway. You didn't think that we'd mind, since we elected you guys to go up to Washington and stand in for us 'cause we're pretty busy with our daily lives. I guess you thought you had one of those "mandate" thingys so that you get to do what you and  the people who give you campaign money want you to do, instead of what we want you to do.

Umm, not really. In fact, if you don't start listening to us, you're going to start getting more presents from us, whether it's your birthday or not. We're nice like that.

So, here's our present to you on your birthday, Barry.

Be sure to show it to Harry and Nancy.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

dont forget the Big smackdown coming in Nov. We here in Nev hope to kick out ol Harry.