Friday Bits of Tid - NBA Champion Miami Heat Edition

Whassup, y'all?

It's Friday again and I'm going to see if'ns I can try another Tidly Bits Post.

In sports news, The Miami Heat won their second NBA Championship last night. LeBron James had a stellar game, scoring 26 points with 11 rebounds and 13 assists.

Lost in the media frenzy surrounding LBJ and his first ring, my Orlando Magic named their new general manager to replace Otis Smith. His name is Rob Hennigan and he has an impressive resume for a young'un (he's only 30 years old). He spent the last four years helping the Oklahoma City Thunder, you know, that other team in this years finals. He'll have a big job on his hands finding a head coach. If I were he, I'd be ringing Phil Jackson's doorbell every morning at 6:00 am with a pail and a hosepipe in my hand ready to wash his cars and asking, "Doughnuts for breakfast today, sir?"

Last Sunday, my (and apparently everybody elses's) favorite NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr ended a four-year winless streak when he took the checkered flag at Michigan International Speedway's Quicken Loans 400 Sprint Cup race. Let's hope there isn't such a long gap until the next win. Sorry BackwardsGirl, that Carl Edwards didn't win.

OK, let's do this thang.

Mommy, why is my name Mile Marker 47?


Sex Born from Hard Rock and Heavy Metal.


This looks cool, but me and heights just don't get along. Sky high dining.


Hey, Hand Me That Piano Pass Me a Beer...

What Friday would be complete without a video of Kate Upton at a bikini shoot?
(Warning: Not Safe For Work)


You're welcome.

As long as I'm posting videos, here's asking why about the plot holes in Prometheus, of which there were many. If you haven't seen the movie yet (or cussing isn't your thing), don't click this...

And finally, The Most Arrogant Man in the World...

OK that about wraps it up. Y'all have a good weekend.

Friday Bits of Tid - Sgt Pepper's Edition

I haven't done a Friday BoT post in a while, as I'm sure all fourteen of you noticed. Hope I can remember how to do it.

It would appear that the wind is to the back of the conservative movement. Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker's recall election is next week, and polls show him ahead. But don't get cocky, Cheeseheads. Don't take anything for granted, vote.
David Axelrod had an audience he didn't plan for yesterday. He was in Boston to attack Mitt Romney's record as Massachusetts Governor (again) and got heckled.

As Insty would say, more of this, please.

OK, let the tidding commence -

It was forty-something years ago today that Sergeant Pepper taught the band to play.

Making a flamenco guitar.




Impatient, are we?

This is the kind of science I can get behind. Mathematicians Solve the Guinness Sinking Bubble Problem. (h/t to David Thompson)

 "I still gotta warrant in pearland..those pigs will NEVER catch me!!!…NEVER!!!" I'll take "Things not to Tweet the Police" for $1000, Alex.

Destined to take the place of Paul the Psychic Octopus in your mythology: Fred the Psychic Ferret.

Stop me if you've heard this one before. So, this man with a zebra and parrot walks out of a bar --

Finally, an oldie but a goodie. The Ultimate Dog Tease

Y'all have a good weekend, y'all.

Friday Bits of Tid - It's Alive!

A big ol' hound dog howdy to ya'll.

I'm back. I've been recharging my batteries lo these many months and it's time to get back to work. Well, this isn't really work, at least not in the traditional sense. It's more a labor of love, no wait, it's not that either. A compulsion? Yeah, that might be a bit closer to the mark...

Anyway, it's time to let all this boundless energy out before the batteries get so full they start leaking. I have a few things in mind to do here, such as playing around with the layout and the design. After a couple of years, this place could use some sprucing up. So indulge me if you will as I play with a few things like background colors and such. Gotta keep up with the times, donchaknow.

After checking my traffic stats, I noticed that a lot of you have told your friends about this place, as the hit count has increased a bit while I've been on vacation. I stop writing for a while, and I start getting more traffic. Go figure. Thanks for spreading the word. Blog hits are the currency of the Intarwebs, so if you find something here you like, please send links to other blogs, friends, co-workers, family members, even people you don't like. I'm not picky.

We have some work to do to get our country back on track. By any measure, the Obama administration has been an abject failure. There have been a few bright spots, like the recent killing of LightSquared by the FCC, but much remains to be done.

I've been watching the Republican presidential debates, as I'm sure you all have. To say there is a weak field of candidates would be an understatement. It appears to be Romney's "turn" in much the same manner as it was John McCains' "turn" in 2008. Even though Rick Santorum is currently leading in a few national polls over Romney, I don't expect that to last.

This is a rather unusual race. We don't have a clearly conservative candidate. As you may remember, my money was on Rick Perry to win it all. In my opinion, he had the best platform, the best record of accomplishment, and the best ideas. However, he pretty much shot himself in the foot when he uttered his famous statement about "not having a heart" if you opposed illegal immigration. He did walk that comment back, but he could never unsay it. At least he's a good shot...

Rick Santorum, well, what can I say about The Sweater Vest that hasn't already been said? He's the Not-Romney of the hour. While he does have some fairly strong attributes, his record of fiscal restraint during his time in Washington isn't strong. It seems to this Boy that he's concentrating more on social conservatism in order to take advantage of the uproar that resulted from this administration's recent ruling that the Catholic Church must provide contraception in its healthcare plans for all its employees, thus trampling on their doctrines and ignoring the Constitution (again). That's all well and good, Mr. Santorum, but that's not the biggest problem we face right now.

Newt Gingrich is essentially gone, a victim of his erraticness (I hope that's a word). If he could've maintained his focus on the president instead of the other candidates, he might still be the front runner. Remember how he positioned himself as the Great Uniter in the early debates and mixed it up with the liberal lefty moderators, challenging their assumptions? Good times...

Ron Paul has some good ideas about domestic fiscal policies, but his foreign policies are the stuff of, um, something, I'm not sure what. How he can say that we've caused all our own troubles in the Mideast is amazing. He's even said he can't see himself in the White House. Fortunately, neither can the rest of the country.

So, we're left to wonder why we have such a poor field of candidates from which to choose. Obama is an easy target in this election. His record is abysmal, but no one seems to be taking advantage of that by pointing it out. We are so much worse off than we were four years ago, and his lack of leadership and poor decisions are directly to blame. It's been said more than once: if Obama was intentionally trying to bring the country down, what would he be doing differently?

It is my sincere hope that our current national crises, which are becoming legion, will awaken the sleeping masses to politics and all the malfeasance contained therein. Just sitting back, smug in the comfort of an XBox, or American Idol or the latest celebrity news doesn't cut it any more.

As unpleasant as it is, our political system is like a cat's litter box. It's disgusting, but it still has to be cleaned out.

We have to do it. So many things are at stake. We have domestic enemies who must be exposed and disarmed. We have to start holding our elected officials to a high standard of accountability. Americans self-identify as conservative by a nearly two-to-one margin over liberals, yet, as Newt pointed out during one of the debates, the majority view is not being represented in Washington.

This must end. Ask yourself if gave your approval for anyone in Washington to strangle our economy. I sure didn't. Yet, that is exactly why we're in our current situation. We no longer have control of our government. It's being operated by people and organizations that don't share our simple values. Many things that the average citizen wants, such as securing our borders and developing our own energy resources, aren't happening.

We can change things. We must change things. We can rid ourselves of Progressivism, that insidious cancer that is trying to kill the body of Freedom by excising it wherever it is found.

In closing, I'll link this excellent post from my reluctant mentor, Mr. Ace of Spades. It's just a thought, but it's a good one.

You'll also notice a new link in the sidebar to American Majority Racing. This is a new conservative political organization that taps a wellspring of Americana, NASCAR fans, among whom I and BackwardsGirl proudly count ourselves. We'll be at the NationWide race next Saturday to cheer on Jason Bowles, driver of the number 81 Dodge Challenger, the red, white and blue car. If I can get my digital camera to operate properly, I'll post some pics if I can. I urge you to click on their link and help support them.

All right, y'all. That's about enough for today. I'll be posting infrequently, but I will be posting.

Be careful out there.

Friday Bits of Tid - Occupation Edition

"What do we want?"

"A Friday Bits of Tid post!"

"When do we want it?"

"Now!"

Do you feel all occupied? I know I do.

It's good to know that all the protesters in the Occupy Wall Street demonstration have completely shunned any and all contact with the corporate world they claim to despise. I'm certain that they won't be using their iPhones or iPods or iPads, or using the greedy, corporate bathrooms at places like McDonalds. Or wearing any of those hip clothes, or shoes, or hoodies decorated with greedy, corporate logos made with slave child labor in China.

And they certainly wouldn't try anything as nefarious as Photoshopping Google pictures to make the protest crowd appear to be much larger than it is. They would never do that.

OK, let's occupy this blog, shall we?

At least our protests haven't gone to the dogs, like they have in Greece.

Fido has his own bed, food dish and now, his very own commercial, complete with a high-frequency sound that we humans can't hear.

Capitalism is alive and well, thank you, as evidenced by this new line of Hallmark layoff greeting cards. "Welcome to Funemployment!"

Remember Russian premier Vladimir Putin's scuba dive where he discovered some ancient Greek artifacts? It was faked. Color me surprised.

If they had brains, they wouldn't be thieves. This guy and this guy miraculously managed to snap their own mug shot with smartphones they stole. Now, if they turned on the GPS location feature, it'd be a simple matter for the police to find them.

Being a "double threat" in football usually means playing on both offense and defense. Here's a new wrinkle: place kicker and homecoming queen.

And finally, I can understand having a stereo on a motorcycle, but this takes it to a whole 'nother level.



Ride Rock on, dudes.

Friday Bits of Tid - USS Nautilus Edition

You're probably wondering why I called you all here. It's Friday, that's reason enough.

On this day in 1954, the world's first nuclear-powered submarine, the USS Nautilus, was commissioned. This was a technological and tactical triumph for America that greatly enhanced our national security. In addition, it was a slap in the face to Russia, our Cold War adversary, as it was designed by U. S. Navy Captain Hyman Rickover, a Russian. This machine was the state of the maritime art and was celebrated as such in the media, much like the Space Shuttle.

It's worth noting that today's nuclear submarines are more technologically advanced than the Shuttle, which was, at the time of its launch, the most complex machine ever designed and constructed. One can only speculate how many future geeks and geekettes were inspired to join the Navy by the simple existence of the Nautilus.

OK, boys and girls, let's get to tidding.

Yesterday was National Coffee Day, which I missed because I hadn't had enough coffee yet.

And nothing would go better with a cup of the Elixir of Life than a $16 muffin. Did I hear someone ask for a recipe? Here you go.

Out here in the real world, this statement would be called the truth. Inside the DC Beltway, it's considered a gaffe. Since it came from Vice President Biden, it's a big, effin' gaffe...

"Right now, understandably — totally legitimate — this is a referendum on Obama and Biden and the nature of the state of the economy,”

You don't say...

Life imitates art, or more specifically a Pink Floyd album cover. A pig flies over London. I'll wait while you explain to your kids what an album is.

If you only watch one French Star Wars disco ballet today, make it this one. I coulda swore I saw a very young Jodi Foster at the end, for a femtosecond or two.

And finally, there's a stunning revelation from the good people over at the CERN supercollider. It seems that there just may be a subatomic particle that can travel faster than the speed of light. If true, it pokes a black hole in Einstein's Theory of Relativity.

And, seemingly on cue, comes this joke: And the bartender says, "You'll have to leave. We don't allow faster-than-light particles in here." A neutrino walks into a bar. (h/t to the Moron Horde over at Ace's Place)

Also on cue in a cosmic way, since this song from Klaatu was recorded back in the '70's, Little Neutrino. If you have some good ear buds, or even those antique headphone thingys, plug 'em in for this one.



That's it for now. I'll be back yesterday.

Friday Bits of Tid - Satellite Catching Edition

Good Morning! It's another Friday, and if you watched the Republican Presidential Candidate Debate properly last night, you doubtless have a severe hangover from the drinking games.

To you I say, GOOD MORNING!

Who's up for some exercise today? We could all go outside and try to catch the satellite that's due to enter the atmosphere sometime today. Whoever catches it will win the Grand Prize: a free, one-year subscription to Everything is Backwards. (Pictures will be required for verification purposes.)

I missed the debate last night, as I had some musical-type business to attend to. BackwardsGirl was kind enough to record it, though. As a result, I couldn't tell you who the winner was, but as usual, you can leave your impressions in the comments.

I noticed that Gary Johnson was present for this one. I really would've liked to have heard Thad McCotter, but he dropped out of the race a few days too soon. With his poll numbers (or lack thereof), I kinda doubt he would've been invited anyway.

With an eye toward the sky, let's get to it. The bitting, that is.

Hey, I have an idea to reduce government spending. Howzabout we set a strict limit on the amount of money anyone in Washington can spend on muffins? $16 apiece sounds just a little high to me. But then again, we're dealing with a class of people who have no problem spending other peoples' money. I'd mention that it would really be nice if these folks would follow the Golden Rule, but that would probably just make me a racist or something...

Supporters of Gibson Guitars are holding a rally concert. Details at the link. If you're in the area and can attend, please do so. If I was, I would.

On a related subject, here are 40 Noises that Built Pop.

The growing problem of Amish militancy.

What do German men do between Oktoberfests? Why, grow beards, of course. And then enter them into competitions. (Spoiler Alert: the guy with the reindeer beard wins.)

Um, Mr. President, this isn't the kind of American exceptionalism we're talking about.

Governor Gary Johnsons' neighbors' dogs, doing the job Obama won't do.

When fabric softener is outlawed, only outlaws will have fabric softener. Man breaks into house to do laundry.

NY assistant prosecutor moonlights as dominatrix. Talk about taking your work home with you...

And finally, I was reminded of something during the Rams/Giants game the other night. Watch at the 0:37 point...



It was this...



Y'all have a good weekend, y'all.

Friday Bits of Tid - Birth of the Ford Falcon Edition

On today's date in 1789, Congress founded the U.S. Treasury.

Today also marks a milestone in American automotive history. On this day in 1959, Ford Motor Company introduced the Falcon, America's answer to imported cars. I have some hood time with this model, it was solid, well built, and easy to work on. Those that came with the 289 c.i. engine were particularly peppy. IMO, the Falcon pre-filled the niche that the venerable Mustang would later occupy.

And speaking of Mustangs, Dear Santa Claus, I've been a very good Boy this year...

Which reminds me. If you're of a certain age and worked on cars, you can remember when most engines were designed with the distributor at the rear of the block. When you did a tune-up, you spent some time in the uncomfortable position of leaning into the engine compartment installing and adjusting the points.

It's some sort of cruel engineering joke that most modern cars have the distributor on the front of the engine in a very accessible position from which to perform maintenance. There's just one thing: no maintenance is required. Go figure.

Anywho, it's been a wild week. They're still cleaning up after Irene, which thankfully fizzled out and wasn't too big. The biggest political news was Obama scheduling his speech to a joint session of Congress on the night of a Republican presidential candidate debate that had been planned for months.

The British would call that "bad form."

Heh. The twelve NASCAR Chase drivers from last year have been invited to the White House to be honored. Five have scheduling conflicts and won't make it. BackwardsGal is tickled that her favorite driver, Carl Edwards, is among them.

Man steals tractor and drives it drunk. The next day, the tractor was unavailable for comments, as it was nursing a hangover. I'm here all week, try the veal.

Alcohol and politics rarely mix. Pennsylvania's wine kiosks have lost over $1 million taxpayer dollars. "It has shown that, with the aid of modern technology, the government can lose money while selling a highly popular product over which it has a monopoly."

Aging superheroes. (h/t to David Thompson)

Some good news about our current situation. It's in response to Mark Steyn's new book, After America: Get Ready for Armageddon, which Steyn notes as a caution, not a certainty, America is not the Titanic.


And finally, laser pointers aren't just for kittehs anymore...



Y'all have a good Labor Day weekend, y'all.

Friday Bits of Tid - Whiskey Rebellion Edition

Mornin', y'all.

How about a shot for breakfast? This shot has something to do with the Whiskey Rebellion.

On this day in 1794, President George Washington writes to Henry "Light Horse Harry" Lee, Virginia's governor and a former general, regarding the Whiskey Rebellion, an insurrection that was the first great test of Washington's authority as president of the United States. In the letter, Washington declared that he had no choice but to act to subdue the "insurgents," fearing they would otherwise "shake the government to its foundation."

Astute readers have noticed that I haven't had any pulchritudinous posts in a while.

And, yeah, that's a firesuit she has on. She's a budding NASCAR driver who competed in the Canadian Nationwide series race a couple of weeks ago, Maryeve Dufault. Baby, you can drive my car.

In flight movie explains mystery of female pleasure. Hmm, it's about a dump-truck full of chocolate covered money?

This is how we'll win the war in Afghanistan: we just won't fart. I know we're trying to win hearts and minds in these days of politically correct warfare, but it appears the effort doesn't stop there.

Oh, and to every body in the way of Hurricane Irene this weekend, y'all be careful up there. This might be a big, bad storm.

From the Ace of Spades HQ Department of Snark: It's Totally Not Symbolic And Totally Not God Trying To Tell Us Something: Washington Monument Cracks

And finally, this.

Have a good 'un, y'all.

Friday Bits of Tid - Birth of Brickyard Edition

The planet has ceased to warm, the seas have receded and balance has been restored to the universe. In other words, Friday Bits of Tid is back! I just hope I can remember how to do this...

On this day in 1909, automotive engineer Louis Schwitzer won the two-lap, five-mile inaugural race at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. The rest, as they say, is history, a long and prestigious one.

As you may recall, I have cited one piece of awful legislation as the root cause of the housing market meltdown. I'm not the only one who noticed, Ed Driscoll of PJ Media has too.

Since it worked so well the last time, President Obama blames ATM's for the economic downturn again.

Remember when you took that European vacation a few years ago? When you got to rub elbows with some of the world's richest people and dated that supermodel during the best two months of your life? Um, that was a commercial: Ads implant fake memories in your head.

Dogs of Math.

German boy complains to police about doing housework. Methinks the police would have been justified if they had spanked him.

Motorized beer cooler lands driver in court for, well, you'll never guess in a million, zillion years.

Digital nipples.

Man steals, then returns children. I see one of two possible scenarios: either the kids were such a pain that he wanted to return them, or they just kept asking, "Are we there yet?" incessantly until the thief finally gave up.

What happens to butter before it gets fried at a state fair.

I've long suspected that progressives were bred in a secure facility in order to protect the general population from infestation. Now I have proof: Doctors grow replacement sphincters.

Here's a screamer from just a few months ago, How can we not love Obama? Let me count the ways...

And finally, Ace contributed this video, he just doesn't know it...



...yet.

Have a good weekend, y'all.

Sunday Bits of Tid

Howay’all? I hope everybody’s doing well. I’m still getting settled in my new job. As you may have noticed, posting has slowed to a crawl here in Backwards Land. My schedule hasn’t allowed as much time as I’d like, but I’m still here.

Also, I noticed I picked up two more followers once I started slowing down on the posting. How that happened, I may never know. But anyway, welcome, you guys and/or gals, as the case may be. I’m gonna guess you’ve been poking around in the archives, a pastime I always recommend when I’m not here.

Today’s post will be a sort of review of the Republican presidential race that I’ve noticed from the corner of my eye.

The Iowa Straw Poll results from yesterday are in: Michelle Bachmann won, with Ron Paul coming in a strong second. Tim Pawlenty came in a distant third, which naturally raises more than a few questions about the future of his campaign. Not that Iowa is any kind of bellwether for the campaign, at least in recent years. If I remember correctly, Mike Huckabee won the last one in ’07 and went exactly nowhere after that. It’s still early.

But Bachmann’s strong showing is somewhat encouraging. How long she’ll remain the front-runner is open to speculation, which I'll explain in a minute. The reason I find her encouraging is more about her message of conservatism and fiscal restraint. Despite what we’re hearing from the White House, most Americans are weary of the spending going on in Washington these days. If you’ll recall, our credit rating was downgraded not because of political gridlock, but because of the unusually high amount of peacetime debt this administration has caused.

But the big news from yesterday was Rick Perry’s announcement to run for president. Personally, I’m pretty excited. The last time I surveyed the field, I had the feeling that there was no one who could generate any kind of energy for a strong Republican run. That changed yesterday with Perry’s speech.

He has the message along with a strong record of success in Texas. During this Obama Depression, Texas has added a lot of jobs. He’s passed something I’d like to see enacted nationwide, a “loser pays” bill that has stopped many frivolous lawsuits. His campaign ad touts the fact that doctors are coming to Texas as a result. Here's the link to his site.

Overall, I believe he’s now the front-runner. Avoiding Iowa was a shrewd move that sucked all the oxygen from the other Republican candidates.

On a side note, I was over at the Fox News site shortly after his speech and boy, were the Axel-trolls out in force in the comment section. There were some real doozies in there, accusing him of being everything he’s not and trying to dredge up anything that might be considered a smear against him. It was like throwing something up against a wall, hoping it would stick.

I have no doubt that we’re going to see and hear the Chicago Corrupt-o-crat Election Machine cranked up to the redline in the ugliest and nastiest presidential race we’ve seen. Ever since I was a kid, Chicago politics has been a well-known joke, like “I see dead voters.” Nepotism and favoritism is the norm there, along with the liberal Democrat mindset that has reduced that once-great city to a modern ghost town. Those who can leave are doing so rapidly. Corruption is rampant. If something can’t last, it won’t.

Here’s what you, gentle reader, can expect from the race between Obama and Perry: the MBM will be out to destroy Perry with vim and vigor. Everything Obama has done will be wonderful and good. The seas will have receded, the world will love us and there are two unicorns in every driveway.

Perry, by contrast, will be a kitten-killer dressed in a skin-suit made from dead children. And that will just be tomorrow. It’ll get nastier with each progressing day.

And. It. Will. Not. Work. Perry will be compared to GW Bush in as negative a way as possible. It won’t work because things have gotten much worse under this president than they ever were under Bush. Right about now, everyone would love to have full employment, cheaper food prices and $1.75/gal gasoline.

Anyone with two functioning neurons to rub together can see what a disaster this administration is for the country. Everything that should be going up is going down and everything that should be going down is going up. But you knew that already, didn’t you?

I’ll carbon-date myself and say I’ve seen this before. If you’re of a certain age, you remember it too. I have to keep reminding myself that there’s a whole new generation of Americans who haven’t. Progressivism (the American version of communism) grows in power and influence, cutting a swath of economic destruction until the nation comes to its senses and stops it. That’s what happened in the late ‘70’s with Jimmy Carter. Thankfully, the country had Ronaldus Magnus ride in on his white horse to save us.

It’s being repeated today.

I think the country will repudiate Obama and Progressivism in general in a way we haven’t seen since 1980. I look for Perry to take the presidency in a landslide that will make Reagan’s look tame by comparison. And thanks to the influence of the Tea Party, Republicans will take Congress.

That’s what it’s going to take to get us back on track. The sudden and well-planned expansion of Washington’s negative influence on the economy has to be stopped and reversed. The only way to do that is to dismantle everything that has been done by the Pelosi- and Reid-led 111th Congress. And I do mean everything: ObamaCare has to be repealed, along with the Frank-Dodd Wall Street takeover, the student loan takeover, and any other bill that got passed by that wretched hive of scum and villainy.

As I’ve noted before, every law that’s passed reduces our freedom, because that’s the way our form of government operates. And each new law generates scores of regulation for the various agencies in charge of enforcing the law, thus acting as a multiplier. One new law leads to many new regulations, a larger bureaucracy, more taxes, and a greater restriction on the economy and freedom, rinse and repeat.

But this is a good thing to Progressives. They call it “being productive,” but the effects wind up being anything but. It’s like they went to all the best schools, but somehow missed one teeny, tiny detail about our system of government.

And that’s why I’m here, to remind them.



OK, I vaguely remember saying something about some tids. Let’s…

Dogs of War.

Toys of War.

Assault with a Deadly Bratwurst.

A Kraut, a Brazilian guitar player and a guy from Jersey walk into a recording studio…

15 Tips on How to be a Good Leftist.

And finally, I’d like to introduce the official theme song of this here blog. You might remember a band from the ‘70’s called Klaatu. When they first came on the musical scene, it was suggested that they were the Beatles in disguise, a great compliment that came back to haunt them when they refused to identify themselves until their third album. This Toronto band considered the recording studio to be another member of the group, which is why they didn’t tour until the very end of their run, around 1981.

I’ve rediscovered this outstanding band and want you guys to hear one of their songs, Silly Boys. And yes, some of the lyrics are backwards…




There are lots more of their tunes on YouTube. This song, Sub Rosa Subway, is about a fellow named Alfred Beach and his surreptitious effort to build a subway under New York City. He was the founder of Scientific American Magazine and his grandson was a big Klaatu fan until his death in 1997.

Karen and Richard Carpenter covered their first release, Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft.

I’m going to try to post more often, so be sure to check back in.

Y’all have a good’un.

Friday Bits of Tid - Die Hard Edition

Greetings and salutations, y'all. We've made it to the end of another week, disappointing our ex-spouses once again.

All together now, "Neener, neener, neener."

On this day in 1988, the movie Die Hard debuts, moving somebody named Bruce Willis from the small screen to the big one. Yippie ki-yay.

If this was my son, I'd just go ahead and send him to Nick Saban today. 16 pound baby born in Texas. Before BackwardsBoyBoy was born, I'd go to the hospital where the then-wife worked and rock newborns whose parents, for whatever reason, couldn't be there. I had a great time in the process. Anyway, there was one young'un in there that weighed 13 pounds, "Fat Albert." You could pick out his cry above the others. Basso profondo I believe is the term.

From the "you can't make this stuff up" department: an Austrian wins the right to wear a spaghetti strainer on his head for his drivers' license picture. The article says he's an atheist and then says that he adheres to a religion known as "Pastafarianism." Pick one, mon.

Why catching Derek Jeter's 3000th hit ball may not be a good thing. And here's a high school pitcher who has been clocked at 90mph with both hands. I used to do that on my intramural college slow pitch softball team. Carried two gloves to the mound. It was great fun until I struck out my history professor one day. I did not get a good grade in that class, for some strange reason.

County eliminates ban on forest juggling. Well, it's about damned time.

Captain America motorcycle on display at the Harley-Davidson museum. From the new movie, not to be confused with Peter Fonda's bike from Easy Rider.

iChurchKey.

Paul, the clairvoyant octopus has gone to that great calamari plate in the sky, Not to worry, though, here's his replacement, Nelly the elephant.

Heh. A mysterious "W" appears on Obama's head. Well, he does seem obsessed with him...

From David Thompson, how to deactivate a cat.

And finally, I'll leave you with this little ditty.



Y'all have a good'un, y'all.

Friday Bits of Tid - End of the Shuttle Era Edition

It's about three hours until liftoff as I type this and I have the NASA channel on in the background. Shuttle launches are always interesting for a space geek like me, but this one is sad as it's the last Shuttle flight ever. Living where I do, I can walk out the front door and see it live. But it's really cloudy, so I might not be able to see today's launch.

It's unfortunate that what was once a vital area of federally funded research and development has been fundamentally transformed into something far less than it was originally intended. It's one of the few government programs that has earned its keep, so to speak, as the tax money that was generated from the spinoffs paid for the costs many times over. Also sad is that the agency which once pursued the best and brightest engineers and technicians in America has been reduced to a muslim outreach agency by this most anti-American administration.

So much for dancing on my soapbox this morning. I wish the crew Godspeed and His Protection.

Someone remind me to recall for you my adolescence spent in Huntsville, AL and later working at Marshall Space Flight Center. Good geeky times.

Oh, well, it's time for some Low Earth Orbit tidding.

While we're on the subject of flight, this is a welcome development. It's about time we finally got our flying car after all these years. Dear Santa, I've been a really good Boy this year...

And on the other end of the technological spectrum, there's this: Mother Nature's lawnmowers.

Halt! Or I'll shoot a fade shot over these trees and onto the fairway.

A boob on wheels. And, no, it's not the guy behind you in traffic.

Duckling tape.

From David Thompson comes this fascinating video. I hope your computer has the display capacity to enjoy all the high definition goodness. The music is also pretty cool.


Team Ghost - High Hopes from 16ar on Vimeo.


David's Friday Ephemera is full of interesting links, from which I filched these also...

Who knew Marlon Brando was a conga player and also worked on a unique way to tune the head?

So this is what happens when I hit my cymbals, huh?



And this is what happens when I play my bass...

And finally, here's Halo, the pool playing dog.



Now go fetch me a beer. Good dog!

Y'all have a good weekend, y'all.

Friday Bits of Tid - Fourth of July Edition

Whee! It's Friday and time to gear up for the biggest right-wing, conservative, Democrats-not-allowed celebration of the year, according to this study by Harvard University.

"The political right has been more successful in appropriating American patriotism and its symbols during the 20th century. Survey evidence also confirms that Republicans consider themselves more patriotic than Democrats. According to this interpretation, there is a political congruence between the patriotism promoted on Fourth of July and the values associated with the Republican party. Fourth of July celebrations in Republican dominated counties may thus be more politically biased events that socialize children into Republicans," write Harvard Kennedy School Assistant Professor David Yanagizawa-Drott and Bocconi University Assistant Professor Andreas Madestam."

And their point would be, what, exactly? Maybe I'm missing something, but I can't find anything wrong with friends and family, hotdogs and hamburgers, cold beer, American history, music, and fireworks. Oh, and a NASCAR race.

If it's good enough for John Lennon, it's good enough for me. He grew into a Republican in his later years.

Red tids, white bits, and blue Fridays all around!

While you're grilling this weekend, try some bacon jam. (h/t to David Thompson)

This sounds like fun. A sleepover inside a zoo. In a treehouse. Count me in.

Leather and Harleys just go together, but a leather Harley? I guess that couldn't be any stranger than what I've seen at Bike Week.

"May the fleas be with you," said Yoda, the World's Ugliest Dog. Love her, you will.

Iran plans to send a monkey into space. What will they do without Ahmadinejad?

Curveball.

"The Oxford comma is what separates us from the animals." Damn. I always thought it was a bent-up coathanger.

I'm sorry to end on a sad note, but I lost one of my best friends on Wednesday. Ronnie "Byrd" Foster was a fantastic musician, a mentor, and a wonderful guy. All of his friends held a fund raiser last Sunday for him, and it was truly a magical event. The love for him was felt by everyone on stage and in the crowd. He played drums for blues guitarist Roy Buchanan during the '70's and was a local legend in his hometown of Pittsburgh and here.

The best night I ever had onstage was with him. He will be missed.

Embedding has been disabled, but he can be seen and heard here and here.

Godspeed, my brother. We will meet again.

Friday Bits of Tid - Musical Edition

'Tis Friday once again. We made it to the weekend despite the best efforts of the world to prevent it.

Yippee!

Try to contain your enthusiasm.

This week brings some disheartenibg news from the entertainment world. Glen Campbell has been diagnosed with Alzheimers's Disease. He's planning a farewell tour. He's a great guitar player, composer, and star of country music and television. Here he is with Ray Charles.



It's time to tid.

Need rain? Try Craigslist.

Setting an example for today's kids - Children's author ejected from plane for bad language.

So you think you're hearing the word "unexpectedly" every time the Obama administration releases the inevitablely bad economic numbers? You're not alone. Pundit Press has this compilation of headlines with that word. As you might guess, it's a rather long post.

Perfectly timed photographs.

Really sharp knives.

I found this little video over at The Jawa Report. Enjoy.



Now for the music-type stuff.

Welcome to the Jungle.



DJ Didgeridoo. And yep, it's what you think it is.

And finally, the latest in oomphalapompatronium music. I'm glad I'm not this guy's roadie.



Have a good 'un, y'all.

Friday Bits of Tid - End of the Weiner Edition

Well, it looks like we won't have Anthony Weiner to kick around anymore. He announced his regination yesterday in a press conference that looked more like a circus. Poor Weiner, it seems he has no skills other than that of a lifetime politician; what will he do now that he's out of a job and has a child on the way?

Not to worry. Weiner has an opportunity to make a move up from the world's second oldest profession to the oldest profession. Hustler Magazine's Larry Flint has offered him a job with a raise.

So, are we to assume he won't be getting royalties from his own doll? It's not only politically correct, it's anatomically correct too.

OK, now that this long national nightmare is over, we can tid with abandon.

Behold the world's longest living light bulb.

What the well-dressed Dad will be wearing this summer - a beer holster.

Apparently, it's illegal in England to shoot off your finger to get rid of a wart.

Prince William could've been an Auburn Tiger.

What Wonder Woman drives. A transparent 1939 Pontiac sedan.

Oh, the shark bites, with its teeth, dear.

Duude, is that, like, a joint on the side of Carl Edwards' car? Far out, man,

And finally, ladies and gentlemen, the PGA's own Golf Boys...



Don't quit your day job, guys.

Y'all have a good 'un, y'all.

Friday Bits of Tid - Go Fly a Kite Edition

Weiner Week finally comes to an end. Sadly, the national conversation hasn't. It's too bad we can't seem to focus our attention on more serious matters, although having an online philanderer and liar in Congress is serious.

I miss the good old days when matters such as this were settled with a duel.

On this day in 1752, Benjamin Franklin flew a kite in a thunderstorm to prove that lightning was electricity. He is quoted as saying, "Damn!" right before he dropped the kitestring to let the circulation return to his numb fingers.

It's worth noting that Franklin's education stopped at age 10, which is well past today's current age of 5, or whenever kids starts kindergarden.

Let's tie our tids to the kitestring, shall we? Wait, that didn't sound right...

President Obama fulfills his campaign promise to make everyone's energy bills "necessarily skyrocket." Utility giant AEP will close five coal-fired power plants to comply with EPA regs. And you thought he was just kidding.

Obama's Sadim Touch: He mentioned a restaurant that was indirectly supported by his auto bailout. The restaurant is now closed. Could he give a shoutout to the EPA next time?

The Next Big Thing - Rabbit Dressage.

The US is now a world-wide joke. Kind of.

Autralian UFO documents abducted stolen.

This story is curious. Not in the fact that there was no criminal activity at the house the SWAT team stormed, or even that the person who was the reason for the raid didn't live there. No, what's curious is that the Department of Education has a SWAT team.

And to think, we actually used to eat this stuff. Cabbages as art. Lettuce dress.

Duude, like, you know, some scientists should like, get together, and like do whatever it is they do to some pot, man. That would be, like, the bomb, man.

Assault with a deadly weapon dead weasel.

And finally, Hitler expresses his outrage over WeinerGate...


Hitler Upset About Weinergate from FTR Radio on Vimeo.


Have a good 'un, y'all.

Friday Bits of Tid - Obama Screws Israel Edition

After President Obama's speech yesterday that basically endorsed terrorist groups against Israel, wouldn't you like to be a fly on the wall in the White House today when Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu meets with Jimmy Carter Junior?

I think Obama's speech should answer any questions about Obama's religion once and for all.

Oh, well, let us tid in peace.

As if we didn't have enough to worry about, the CDC is now saying be prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse. I guess they can't keep them contained inside the halls of Congress anymore.

Police get a break in the search for those dastardly fryer grease thieves. "Officers noticed the tank "smelled like old, stale french fries." That used to be called a "dead giveaway."

Police comb city for mullet-wearing bandit. Robbery in the front, felony in the back.

Dangerous watermelons.

Prague Zoo sells peanut fertilizer elephant dung.

Technology is a wonderful thing. A paralyzed student walks to graduation. Man gets new bionic hand. As Insty says, more of this, please.

Duude, check this out. Like, some dude named Stoner got busted for, um, uh, I'll remember it in a minute, man. Anyway, dude, it was, like, really funny, man.

What the well-dressed Seal Team 6 dog is wearing this season.

And finally, the World's Most Useless Machine.



Y'all do have a good 'un, y'heah.

Friday Bits of Tid - Friday the 13th Edition

Today's Piece of Helpful Advice:

If you eat a live frog first thing in the morning, nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

Forgive me for the lateness of my post today, but Blogger has been down until just now. Ann Althouse hardest hit.

Anyway, it's Friday the 13th. As the comic character Pogo used to say, the only day that would be worse would be Friday the 26th. Twice as bad.

Let us tid with caution.

Big Brother is watching your kid eat lunch.

Dangerous Hair.

Paper Escher. (via David Thompson)

Lego Escher.

Dangerous Grandma.

This is just the thing to go along with your President Obama Commemorative Plate: an Obama Seal Team 6 Action Figure. Teleprompter sold separately.

I truly thought border collies were smarter than this.




And finally, OBL's funeral at sea. (shamelessly stolen from Ace of Spades HQ)



Have a good 'un, y'all.

Friday Bits of Tid - Muthahood Edition

Yo, yo, yo, y'all. It's been a pretty good week, all things considered. Our economy is still on life support, gas prices are through the roof and you think you're getting stronger because you can now lift one bag of groceries that costs $75 where you couldn't do that last year.

Still, all that pales, for a while at least, next to the news that we took out the world's most wanted man. The daring raid proved that even though we elected the worst president in recent memory, he still managed to do something right.

There's a first time for everything.

Let us tid with vim and vigor.

Are you in the market for a car? Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is for sale. The tires should be in really good shape.

Imagine for a moment that you're on a beach in Hawaii with your family. You ask a stranger to take a picture. You then discover the guy you asked is your long-lost half brother.

Fryer grease rustlers.

It seems you just can't trust drug dealers anymore. Man calls 911 after being shortchanged in crack deal. What is this world coming to?

Move over, Samuel Adams. The Father of our Country also had a beer recipe. You can taste it at a Manhattan bar called Rattle and Hum on May 18.

From the sidebar over at Ace's Place comes this video of a poor, bacon-deprived dog who can talk...



Holy advice in the grocery store.

And finally, this is for all the Mutha's out there.



Word, yo.

Also, if you don't mind, could you take a minute and say a prayer for a very good friend of mine who's in the hospital fighting for his life? Just a small one for his comfort, wisdom for his doctors, and strength for his family and friends. Many thanks.

Friday Bits of Tid - Royal Wedding Edition

So, I hear someone's getting married today. Whoever they are, I wish them the best.

Phoebe Snow passed away this week. You'll remember her for the hit Poetry Man and her work with Paul Simon. That's her singing backup on 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover. She'll get to see her daughter again...

One of the benefits of blogging is that I get to discover all kinds of cool things on this Interwebs thingy. Some of them are just plain silly but some are also informative. Since I found a few of the latter today, I wanted to post them for your perusal.

The first thing my economics professor told the class was this joke. "All of the worlds' economists, if laid end to end, wouldn't reach a conclusion." As I age, I don't think he was kidding, especially when we've been the subject of so much economic experimentation lately that has been so wrong. Obama's Stimulus plan has been a dismal failure by every metric. It's done the opposite of what we were told it would do, and now we're left holding the empty money bag.

Thanks you, Mr. President.

Here's something you maybe should have watched before you signed that bill. Check out this rap video of Keynes and Hayek, Round Two.



Part One is here.

More geeky goodness can be found in this video that explains what dark matter is. As best I can figure, it fills in all the space between an atom's nucleus and the electrons in orbit, something that, for the longest time, was thought to be empty space or a even a vacuum. As yet, we don't have a way to measure this stuff, but give us time.

You might have to readjust your browsers' scale to get this video to show correctly. It's kinda tall.


Dark Matters from PHD Comics on Vimeo.

Superman is renouncing his US citizenship. He was an illegal alien anyway, so, meh.

Via Instapundit, the Politics of Star Trek.

Woman seeks man from Easter encounter. On the off chance that one of you guys might know him, here's your opportunity to play Cupid.

From the You Can't Make This Stuff Up, Animal Division comes this story of a man dressed up as a cow who stole 26 gallons of milk, with a picture of the perp.

Also, a New Jersey town regulates chicken sex.

Why did the alligator cross the road?

Remember Monday's post? Here's more sticky note activism, this time at the grocery store. I suspect we'll start seeing a bit more of this as our economy continues to deteriorate. Somebody's gotta do it.
*Updated* No sooner did I finish this post than I found these instructions on how to construct your own slogan, along with a Sticky Note Rebellion Facebook page. Damn, y'all are working me like a rented mule.

And lastly, here's this week's official video, for all the obvious reasons...



Have a good weekend, y'all. And say a prayer for all my cousins in Alabama who were affected by the tornados. They'll need all the Help they can get. If you can help, please do so.