Reality-Challenged President Addresses Union Crowd on Labor Day

President Obama took time from his busy golfing schedule to address a hand-picked, cheering throng of union members in Milwaukee yesterday. In his speech, he displayed his continued befuddlement about how the real world in general, and business in specific, operates.

He sprang into action immediately, continuing his demonization of  evil American business,

...some on Wall Street took reckless risks and cut corners to turn huge profits, while working Americans were fighting harder and harder just to stay afloat.

Huge profits? Does he mean that despicable corporate average of around 7 percent profit? How dare those evil corporations make money!! Bastages, all!

He then proceeds to relate all of his knowledge of the job market,

It was through my grandparents' experience that I was brought up to believe that anything is possible in America. But they also knew the feeling when that opportunity is pulled out from under you. They would tell me about seeing their fathers or uncles losing jobs during the depression; how it wasn't just the loss of a paycheck that stung. It was the blow to their dignity; their sense of self-worth. I'll bet a lot of us have seen people changed after a long bout of unemployment; how it can wear down even the strongest spirits.

So my grandparents taught me early on that a job is about more than a paycheck, as important as that is. A job is about waking up every day with a sense of purpose, and going to bed each night fulfilled. A job is about meeting your responsibilities to yourself, to your family, to your community.

What's missing in that tale? Just any of his own experience in a real-world job, that's all. His grandparents had to tell him what jobs were all about. I'll bet it sounded like a bedtime story. He retains that child-like sense of wonderment until this day. How charming.

And the question is, how do we create the same kind of middle class opportunity my grandparents' generation came home to? How do we build our economy on the same kind of strong, stable foundation for growth?

That's simple, Mr. President. Take every policy you and the corrupt progressives who run Congress propose and do the exact opposite. See, that wasn't hard, now was it?

Now it's time for a little conservative-bashing thrown in with all that economic wonderment.

Well, anyone who thinks we can move this economy forward with a few doing well at the top, hoping it'll trickle down to working folks running faster and faster just to keep up – they just haven't studied our history. We didn't become the most prosperous country in the world by rewarding greed and recklessness. We didn't come this far by letting special interests run wild. We didn't do it by just gambling and chasing paper profits on Wall Street.

We saw what you did there, Barry. That was a not-so-subtle swipe at Ronaldus Magnus, whose fiscal policies just happened to result in the largest peacetime expansion of our economy on record. And Sir, could you, just once, stop regarding any and all profit as being greedy and reckless? It's really getting old, in addition to being false. You're only showing your ignorance about the profits that a growing number of retired Americans rely on for their incomes via their retirement accounts.

He does , however, get really, really close to a fact in his speech,

We did it by producing goods we could sell; we did it with sweat and effort and innovation.

Uh huh, all without the interference of government. You're getting warmer...

That's why we're investing in growth industries like clean energy and manufacturing. Because we want to see the solar panels and wind turbines and electric cars of tomorrow manufactured here. We don't just want to buy stuff made elsewhere; we want to grow our exports so the world buys products that say “Made in America.”

Growth industries? Sorry Barry, those products have been on the market for over thirty years now. If they made sense, wouldn't they be enjoying some success by now? Government subsidies for those items don't count. And, just so you know, we have a proven method of producing clean energy in nuclear power, but you and your radical environmentalist friends have worked tirelessly to make sure we haven't built a plant in a generation. You just got cold again.

When the naysayers said we should just let the American auto industry vanish and take hundreds of thousands of jobs down with it, we said we'd stand by them if they made the tough choices necessary to compete once again – and today, that industry is on the way back.

Here we go again. Mr. President, we have this legal thingy called "bankruptcy", maybe you've heard of it. Oh, wait, that's right, I keep forgetting you've never held a real job, with real people with real children depending on you providing them real paychecks every week. You were busy organizing communitites. My bad. Anyway, this thing called "bankruptcy" would have allowed these evil car companies to renegotiate their contracts with unions, which I'm sure all your union boss buddies would have been kinda angry at you for. I understand. It's much better for our tax money to prop up their outrageous pay than the free market, you know, the money we stand to lose when GM makes it's next IPO.

Anyway, boys and girls, it's now time to get back to his second favorite sport after golf: bashing Republicans,

But there are some folks in Washington who see things differently. When it comes to just about everything we've done to strengthen the middle class and rebuild our economy, almost every Republican in Congress said no. Even where we usually agree, they say no. They think it's better to score political points before an election than actually solve problems. So they said no to help for small businesses. No to middle-class tax cuts. No to unemployment insurance. No to clean energy jobs. No to making college affordable. No to reforming Wall Street. Even as we speak, these guys are saying no to cutting more taxes for small business owners. I mean, come on! Remember when our campaign slogan was “Yes We Can?” These guys are running on “No, We Can't,” and proud of it. Really inspiring, huh?

To steal a line from our old friend, Ted Kennedy: what is it about working men and women that they find so offensive?

And ol' Teddy held how many jobs in his life? He had almost as much business experience as you. And also never mind that your party has held the majority in Congress ever since your election. That means that your buddies over there didn't need any votes from Republicans to pass your bills. You thought we forgot all that, didn't you?
 

Bottom line is, these guys refuse to give up on the economic philosophy they peddled for most of the last decade.

OK, I'll give you some style points for finding a new way to blame your predecessor for our current woes. That was done with flair, but the level of difficulty is still too low to score accurately.

So basically, they're betting that between now and November, you'll come down with a case of amnesia. They think you'll forget what their agenda did to this country. They think you'll just believe that they've changed. These are the folks whose policies helped devastate our middle class and drive our economy into a ditch. And now they're asking you for the keys back.

Um, no, I don't think we'll forget those horrible days of 4.7% unemployment despite two active wars following a brazen attack by radical Islamists on American soil. And what's this obsession of yours with cars? Why don't we time you as you change a tire? And no, you can't call a tow truck.

He wraps it up,

We can restore the American Dream and deliver it safely to our children. That's how we built the last American century. That's how we'll build the next. We don't believe in the words “No, we can't.” We are Americans, and in times of great challenge, we push forward with an unyielding faith that we can. Yes, we can. Thank you, God Bless You and the work you do, and God Bless the United States of America.

Well, at least he got that last sentence correct.

We should thank him for that.