Wednesday, May 16, 2012

If the Economy Improves, Obama Will Take Credit for It

SwamiBoy here. My crystal ball had been flashing red for a few minutes, so I sat down in front of the orb with a notepad and a pencil this morning to see what was so important.

Here's what it told me: between now and the November general elections, the economy will begin to actually recover.

Then the room got dark and like the Bat-Signal, a message flashed on the ceiling: DON'T BE FOOLED. Then the crystal ball began to show reruns of Mork and Mindy.

The Official State Progressive Pravda Narrative will go as follows: Obama's plan for the economy will have finally reached maturity. Things are getting better, more people are working, and it's all because of Obama! The man who promised to cut the deficit in half and who has the mythic power to stop the rise of the oceans will be the sole cause of it all.

There will be new businesses starting up, old businesses expanding, there will be a renewed optimism spreading across the land like wildfire. Celebrations will spring up everywhere as will spontaneous block parties in response to the wonderfullness that is Obama.


As America starts to anticipate Obama and the Progressives' crushing defeat in the polls, enthusiasm will fuel a genuine economic resurgence

 It has already been ordained:

Yes, things will get better, Your Eminence. And we do indeed have the solution to our problems within our grasp. The trouble is, your administration is either incapable or unwilling to use it, "it" being the power of the free capitalistic marketplace to create wealth.

Once the boot of Big Brother is removed from our neck, we'll be able to breathe. Then we'll get up, wonder how we were so easily persuaded to elect an anti-American radical such as yourself to the highest office in the land, kick ourselves for our gullibility, and get to work undoing everything you've done to the country.


Things will get better, but the reason will not be your doing, Mr. President.

It will be due to the fact that you won't be in office for much longer.

That will be cause for real celebration.

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